What's Wrong with Your Face?

Week 2 workshop focus: Emotional

Week 2 word-of-the-week: Acceptance

“What’s wrong sweetie?” UUUUUGH a question that is the bane of my existence! Around the age of 12 or 13, my family would ask me this. I hated it. Because, I don’t freaking know, this is just my face, guys. My mood is low because…it’s low. I don’t want to go to dinner with you guys because…I don’t want to go. Not because I’m depressed. Not because I don’t love you. I just…don’t want to. (Side note: there are so many changes going on with a young teenage girl. She cannot fully understand what is going on in her mind and body. Don’t push her, please. Ask how you can best show up for her. Don’t assume anything.)

After so many rounds of this dialogue, I started to believe something was in fact wrong with me. It’s a pattern that followed me for YEARS. So guess what. I had to figure this sh*t out on my own. I became an expert journalist. I was my counselor’s favorite client. I became (and still am) a self-help book junkie. But cool for you, because I share this with all who cares to listen. It makes me a better counselor, coach, friend, wife, and especially momma.

Sometimes we are depressed and we need people to be there, but dare I say, don’t push us. Just be there. Don’t push the question of what’s wrong, because more than often we don’t know. And also, you might push us right into thinking something is wrong. Or being so dependent on people asking us what’s wrong, we forget to focus on what’s right.

Take these tips for your own emotional wellness. If you listened to this week’s workshop video, you heard me talk about the “toolbox” concept. Feel free to add this to your own toolbox.

1. Journal. You can learn a lot about yourself through free writing. If something is feeling a little “off,” you can process quietly, on your own. Flipside: when things are going well, write that down too. Gratitude is linked to long term emotional benefits.

2. Talk to someone you trust. I’ll say that again. TRUST. It does not have to be someone you are all that close with. It doesn’t have to be a relationship that makes sense (maybe it’s not your sister, maybe it’s your sister’s friend’s wife). If you trust them, you are much more likely to feel comfortable with them. Therefore, you’ll open up, if there is something that needs to be discussed.

3. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. If someone close to you (they know your patterns) asks if you’re depressed, learn about depression. Do you identify with these symptoms? This is important, don’t let that slide. Talk to someone. And here, “someone” means a professional. Is your mood different? Is it best explained by a life change? Can you put words to your emotions? I couldn’t for a long time, so I have extreme sympathy here.

4. When in doubt, picture how you want to be and how you want to feel. Is this how you are? Ok, if not, there’s a gap-how are you going to close that gap? And if so, congratulations, you’re good to go.

5. ACCEPT where you are and take the next step. That might be telling mom to stop asking what's wrong and start being available to just listen. Maybe your next step is to do a little soul searching (this is a great place to start). But there are no judgments allowed here, ok?

To watch week 2 of Hindsight is 2020 on emotional wellness, follow this link.