As a mental health counselor and life coach, I strive to provide guidance and support to my clients, helping them navigate through life's challenges. But I am also human, and just like anyone else, I face my own struggles. Recently, I found myself in a specific situation where anger and frustration consumed me. These aren’t usually the emotions that I get caught up in but this time they gripped me tightly and refused to let go. Today, I want to share my personal account, not only to show my clients that they are not alone in experiencing these feelings, but also to shed light on the tools and techniques I used to recover and regain emotional balance.
The Storm of Anger: A few days ago, a situation arose that triggered an overwhelming feeling of anger within me. It was as if a storm had taken residence in my mind, clouding my judgment and intensifying my frustrations. I felt trapped, unable to shake off the negative emotions that had wrapped themselves around my thoughts. The thoughts I had were negative, unrelenting and held me hostage of welcoming any other positive emotion. In that moment, I stopped everything I was doing and allowed myself to stay present with my thoughts and feelings. I realized that even as a mental health professional, I too could be vulnerable to the same challenges my clients face. And wow did I relate to my clients! This helped me accept the emotion and consciously choose to help myself out of it.
Seeking Clarity through Cognitive Reframing: Recognizing the intensity of my emotions, I turned to one of the core techniques I often teach my clients - cognitive reframing. It involves challenging and reshaping our negative thoughts, allowing us to shift our perspective and find more empowering interpretations. I dove deep into my anger, dissecting its roots and questioning the validity of my own perceptions. Through this process, I gained a clearer understanding of the underlying triggers and realized that my anger was not serving me well.
Choosing Another Perspective: Once I had identified the patterns of my anger, it was time to choose another perspective, one that would empower me to move forward. I reminded myself that every challenging situation holds an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. I acknowledged that my anger stemmed from unmet expectations and took responsibility for the role I played in contributing to the situation. By shifting my focus from blame to personal growth, I opened myself up to new possibilities and potential solutions. I chose a mantra that made sense for me and brought me a tiny bit of relief: “The Universe is sending me a message. I can stop forcing [this situation] and allow the universe to let it play out naturally.”
Embracing Emotional Resilience: Recovering from anger and frustration requires resilience - the ability to bounce back and regain emotional equilibrium. It is an ongoing practice that I, too, continue to develop. Through my journey, I discovered the importance of self-compassion, allowing myself to feel the emotions without judgment while also being kind and forgiving towards myself. I engaged in self-care activities that brought me joy and provided a much-needed sense of balance. Gradually, I felt the storm of anger dissipate, replaced by a newfound sense of clarity and peace. Letting go of my need to control the situation was pure freedom and I was capable of giving myself that freedom I so desperately needed.
Sharing my personal struggle with anger and frustration has been both vulnerable and liberating. It reminds me that we are all connected by our humanity, and it is through our shared experiences that we find strength and empathy. I hope that by sharing my journey, I have shown my clients that their emotions are valid and that they, too, have the capacity to recover and grow. Remember, when faced with overwhelming anger or frustration, practice cognitive reframing (change the way you think about it), choose another perspective, and embrace the power of resilience. Together, we can navigate the storms and emerge stronger on the other side.
In empathy and growth,
Ginny, your Mental Health Counselor and Life Coach