What I Learned From a Social Media Detox (and how it might pertain to you, too!)

First of all, I want to quickly say why I decided to do this. I’m a mom of 2 little boys, have a flourishing business, and an engaging marriage. I have been feeling like my time and energy toward each of these is minimal. I wanted to see if a detox would allow me to choose being more present and create a sense of having more time, or at least more quality in my attention.

One morning I found myself playing with the kids, asking them to pose for a quick pic (knowing it was Instagram or Facebook worthy) and then I was like, “oh crap, I need to let them play, not pose for a pic for others to see." (I actually may have beat myself up a little too much here). But that was the moment I realized I was missing the big picture and I was not about to let my children feel that.

The last reason is the negativity I was starting to feel. I wanted to see if it was a direct link from other’s opinions and highly-controversial posts. The world feels really daunting right now. I get the news when I seek it out, I don’t need it to randomly be dispersed in the middle of FB posts. Yuck!

Here are 6 of my realizations from my 2-month detox:

1. I was using it wrong.

It became a legit habit of clicking the app just for the sake of opening it.

Maybe I got on to post something in the marketplace, but then I had a notification that led me to looking at someone’s profile or new group they created, and oh wait, I have 3 mutual friends with a member of the group, I wonder how they know Sarah….did the unlimited trail of scrolling & searching ever happen to you?!

2. It made me feel good.

I didn’t necessarily understand why, but there is actual science to this. Dopamine (the feel good hormone) is released and over time helps us develop habits because it feels good to feel good. This is like gambling, food, love and even drugs.

Also, it was nice to have something to 'do' while I was trying to decompress. I think most people would rather get lost in funny videos or mindless memes than do other house chores, homework, etc. It's a nice distraction from things we don't want to do. (and if I'm being really honest, it's an easy way out from feeling emotions we really don't want to address #hardtruth)

3. Comparison is a happiness KILLER.

I definitely don’t want to admit that I was comparing myself to others. Although, I’m not consciously telling myself to, it happens naturally. Like, “wow, they seem to go on vacation monthly, I wonder what he does for a living because she stays at home with the kids.”----JEEEZ, why in the hell would that be my business?!?!?

People usually post the highlight reel anyway. Although, I have seen some people post the good and the bad (and I kind of appreciate it because it shows different sides of emotions and life).

Also, when we compare ourselves, we have a natural reaction of judgement. Judging yourself: "why can’t I dress as cute as she does?" And judging others: "they must not have a good marriage, he's never in her posts." JUDGEMENT has horrible effects on our mentality. ***Side note-don't hate on yourself for judging others on social media, it's truly more natural than we realize. However, if you notice this in yourself, you might be ready for your own detox. Be honest with yourself about why you have feelings around certain posts and begin breaking the judgments.

4. I was free.

I didn’t necessarily expect this feeling to be so strong. When I got to a point in my “detox,” I finally realized that I didn’t have the urge to post things just to post them (i.e. pictures from my son’s birthday, random posts on my mind, etc.). Therefore, I didn’t have to check for likes, response, etc.<---weird to admit this.

My mind was free and also so was my time. I did anything other than get on my phone. I was playing with my kids a little extra, organizing, cleaning, cooking more, reading, etc. This did not feel like a dramatic shift, however it felt like a major increase in being present in the moment.

I was more intentional about my time. Instead of mindlessly scrolling and losing precious minutes---hours throughout the day, I could better plan my day and not get caught up in social media.

5. Lowered negative emotions.

Again, less access to other’s lives (posts), no need for natural judgement.

No pressure on myself to post something or check notifications=lowered levels of anxiety.

No pressure to keep up with someone else’s ideas (i.e. home decor, birthday party ideas, going back to school pics, etc.), I stayed off Pinterest, too!

Less access to politics, radical opinions, and untrue statements.

6. FOMO or the fear of missing out can occur.

“Did you see that video on Instagram?” “Did you know Holly had her baby?!” Aw man, I didn't, I'm not on social media right now. I cannot believe the amount of times I said that to people, by the way.

But I got to a point that I was ok with missing out. I either found out the really important things from other people (real life communication!) or it’s one less fact of someone else's life that I never needed to know anyway.

Do you feel troubled or fear of missing opportunities? You may be experiencing FOMO. Find more examples and info here: FOMO Video

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Why two months? Absolutely no reason at all. I didn’t set a timeline on it. I honestly didn’t set "rules" at all. I didn’t know if this would be achievable, if it would make a difference, or what I needed to do. I was trying it. For me, at the 2-month mark, I felt like I learned so much, that I was comfortable enough to slowly join back in.

The biggest take-away: BALANCE and BOUNDARIES. Not everything needs to be posted. Not all down-time moments need to be filled with clicking on apps, scrolling through feeds, or watching 30-second videos. But guess what, I can sometimes. It does not have to be all or nothing. Through this process I learned about my limitations when it comes to social media and I’m so glad I did!

Want to have your own detox? Check out my next blog post for tips!