Basic Human Need: Social Connection

Week 3 workshop focus: social

Have you ever picked up your phone just to get on Facebook, Instagram, or another social media site? How many times did you intentionally open one of those apps? How many times did your finger just click an app without your mind actually triggering the thought first? I’m referring to autopilot here.

What are you seeking in that moment? It could be comfort. It could be mindless decompression. It could be a way of coping through a moment or situation; which could be procrastination at it’s finest. What if it’s way more than all of that? What if you are looking for connection but it the WRONG PLACE?

We know social media is not real. Logically, we know that our acquaintances don’t live these perfect lives. On Monday, Kimmy from college posts, “Back on the grind, make it a great day everyone,” but what you don’t know is that she and her husband had a major fight already this morning. Thursday, Ben from high school shows pics of a happy hour with his buds. You didn’t hear about the part where he didn’t get the promotion that day. Saturday, you see pictures of an old friend with her kids at the zoo. You see her smiling, but she’s actually dying on the inside because she has three kids and hasn’t had a moment to herself in 4 years.

Did these guys need the “likes” or “comments?” OR do you think they need more? What about YOU?? Do you ever post pictures, share memes, or just scroll because something is missing for you?

This is serious guys. We live in a time where we are always connected but NEVER f*cking connected. Social connection is imperative to our wellness. Don’t confuse what it means. Disclaimer: I love social media. I have connected FOR REAL with people that I never would have had the opportunity had it not been for Facebook. I just hate the misconceptions of connection via “like.”

Action Item: when you want to connect with someone, like the drive to get on Facebook creeps up on you, CALL (yes, actually call) someone. Literally anyone. Your mom, aunt, little cousin (sometimes they are the BEST). When they answer, “like, what’s up, weirdo, why are you calling?” You have permission to say, “just thinking of you,” or, “haven’t really talked to you in a while,” or “I’m bored and wanted to touch base.” It doesn’t matter. I guarantee you the conversation will lead somewhere. “Likes” really don’t lead to sh*t.

In this video, I talk more about the benefits and limitations of social wellness.